Horrors of a Normal Life
by Dark Neko Master
Summary: This is a story aout a panda that likes bananas. Just kidding. This is a story about Black*Rock Shooter living a normal life along with the other selves. Sadly it's not really that normal because the author is crazy.
1. This is obviously the first chapter

**Me: Hello my little Sebastians. (If you're a girl I don't care, your name now is Sebastian)  
BRS: …My name is Black Rock Shooter.  
Me: I wasn't talking to you; I was talking to the readers.  
BRS: Shouldn't you be doing some other story?  
Me: Yeah… But I deleted that fanfic because I hated it and had a lot of discouragements. But don't worry to those who read it I'll be doing a remake of it.  
BRS: What happened to Cheshire?  
Wherever Cheshire is…  
Cheshire: *running away from rabid dogs* AAAAAAAAHHH!  
Back to me  
Me: He called me obnoxious. Anyway this isn't just one of the BRS; this is a bunch of BRS I know, kay kay!**

* * *

**~Rock's POV~**

"Rock! It's time for breakfast!"

I got up feeling like crap. Why you ask? Because I had to move to San Francisco because of my mom's job. Her job is being a singer called Sing Love. Though despite the fact that she's a singer I eventually found out through a series of hilariously traumatizing events, that I would rather not tell, that she was an undercover secret agent by the code name White*Rock Shooter. Coincidentally her real name is White.

After I got dressed, tied my hair in uneven pigtails people love so much and ate my breakfast, I jumped on the cat. The cat still couldn't carry me. This doesn't make sense, since when I bought the cat, the salesman on the streets said that the cat was a super cat and that it could do anything. I've been doing this for ten years and the cat still couldn't carry me. I think I got cheated…

* * *

**=In school=**

Once I got into my new school, I kept thinking if my school, Black Academy, would be a normal school. I got my answer when I met Mr. Potatoes. He teaches us the Potato subject. Ironic since his first name is I Hate, making his full name I Hate Potatoes.

Our first lesson was who likes Tomatoes. It didn't make sense. Wasn't this supposed to be a Potato subject? Well apparently not.

During lunch I didn't feel like eating because my mom is the worst cook in the history of mankind. But when I eat with my mom I always fake a smile and say it tastes good.

"Aren't you gonna eat? You're not feeling well?" a short girl with tan skin, silver hair and orange eyes asked.

I didn't say anything. I never was the talkative type. So I ignored her and started to read a book. She told me her name, her name is Strength. I didn't care much though so I continued reading the book.

She sat next to me trying to engage a conversation with me. She complimented me on everything: my hair, my ability to stay calm, my eyes, my skin, my taste in books, etc. Compliments don't really affect me but she seemed to really like me. I was touched by that, so I decided to talk with her.

"Do you have a cat?" I asked.

"Yes, her name is Defense." She answered.

"Is she a super cat?" I asked.

She looked a bit surprised. "Why?" she asked.

"I was just asking." I said

"Well yes, she is a super cat." She answered. If you listened hard enough you could hear a hint of pride in her voice.

I feel a little jealous now. "What does she do?" I asked

"She flies." She said. "Wanna know how I found out?" She asked.

I nodded. Not because I thought it was amazing, but because if she told me, I might find out how to get my cat to carry me.

**~Strength's POV~**

Shejust suddenly asked me if I had a cat. I answered of course. I wanted to be friends with her. Then she asked me if it was a super cat. Wow! We must have a psychic connection or something because I do have a super cat! I answered modestly… Well it did have a bit of pride in it. I asked her if she wanted to know and she said yes.

"Well then," I said "it all started when I bought my cat…"

_Flashback of idiocy which just so happens to be ten years ago:_

I was at the roof of my apartment, holding a my new cat ,Defense. The salesman on the streets told me this cat is a super cat that can fly. So right now I'm here to see if that man is a liar. I positioned myself and was ready to drop my cat.

_The Defense's POV in the flashback:_

_HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! This little human girl is about to drop me from a three story building! When I felt her hands let go of me, I immediately prayed to the cat god, Dark Neko Master,_**(Sound familiar?)**_. To my astonishment and gratitude I landed on a trampoline and bounced back to the roof. But to my horror and regret I bounced back into the girl's arms again…_

_Back to Strength's POV but still in the flashback:_

_Oh my gosh! The Defense just flew back into my arms! She must really like me! Wait… What am I doing on the roof again? Oh yeah, I was seeing if Defense could fly… HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST FLEW BACK INTO MY ARMS! She is a super cat!_

_End of the flashback of idiocy:_

**~Rock's POV~**

Though it was an interesting story, it didn't help me at all. How the heck am I supposed to get my cat to carry me now!? Well I could try making my cat drag me across the garden…

DING! DONG! DING! DONG!

At that point the bell rang. Strength shook my hand and waved me goodbye. I headed to my class too.

**~Strength's POV~**

I sat down in class. Things were going normally in my history class, but I kept feeling like I was forgetting something. Something important… HOLY CRAP! I FORGOT TO ASK WHAT THAT GIRL'S NAME WAS!

Everyone was looking at me. "Ms. Strength, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop disturbing the class with your constant yelling." The teacher said. Everyone was laughing at me. Was I thinking out loud? Aw man… This is so embarrassing.

**~Rock's POV~**

The teacher arrived late by **FIFTY MINUTES**. Seriously! Until he arrived the whole class was in total chaos. There was graffiti on the walls, papers on the floor, nerds getting beat up and some boys did a rock-paper-scissors stripping game, but when the teacher arrived everything had just magically disappeared. I think I enrolled into a school of creepy wizards…

Class ended quickly. By the time I got home I immediately went to my room to rest. All of today's activities made me tired.

* * *

**Me: Well that's it! Hope you liked it.  
BRS:*Jumping on the cat*…  
Me: You know… you can stop acting now.  
BRS: What do you mean by acting?  
Me: Riiiight… but seriously stop; you're hurting the poor thing.  
BRS: But the salesman said it could fly.  
Me: This might take a while…**


	2. I'm too lazy to make a title

**Me: Hello once again my Sebastian minions.  
BRS: She doesn't mean that.  
Me: Thank you to those two people who reviewed to my fanfic. I WUV YOU!  
BRS: Now what?  
Me: The disclaimer. NOW.  
BRS: Dark Neko Master does not own Black Rocks Shooter.  
Me: Good! Now, here's a cookie. *Gives her a cookie***

**~Rock's POV~**

I woke up to the sound of one of my mom's adult themed songs. That doesn't make sense since my mom doesn't practice songs at **12:00** in the morning. She practices songs **12:01 **in the morning. I need to investigate what's going on.

I traced the song to my living room and wished I never went there to investigate because **I SAW A GHOST DANCING TO MY MOM'S SONG**. The ghost was really hairy and fat. How did I know he was hairy? I knew because all he was wearing was **MY MOM'S UNDERWEAR**! Though the ghost didn't scare me it was my mom's underwear that scared me.

I immediately ran upstairs to my older sister's room. My sister's name is Nana by the way. She comforts me a lot when I have problems, but this time I have a feeling she won't be able to comfort me. After all, my mom's underwear is really scary.

**~The next morning in school~**

I have officially been traumatized by my mom's underwear. I mean I don't even know how those can be called underwear. It's so =CENSORED= and =CENSORED= but the worst part was =CENSORED=. Ugh…

"Hellooo~"

I snapped out of my thoughts when Strength talked to me.

"Hey! I forgot to ask your name yesterday, so what's your name?" she asked.

"It's Rock." I said. "Well, I guess that explains why you never said my name when we were talking yesterday."

"That's because I forgot to ask your name!" Strength yelled

"Umm… okay… So I heard there was going to be an assembly here-"

"That's because I forgot to ask your name!"

There was a moment of silence.

"That's because I forgot to ask your name!"

Wow she's pretty funny. I didn't expect her to be funny.

"There's an assembly going on at the quadrangle. Students are acquired to attend the assembly." The speaker said.

Everyone went there like a bunch of zombies: Really slow and lazy. Wow, they must really hate assemblies. Hope the assemblies here aren't as bad as I think they are.

**~In the quadrangle~**

"Alright students," the teacher in charge said "let's all start the assembly with the schools anthem." Huh? An anthem? I didn't know this school had its own anthem.

"_I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man"_

Wait, what?

"_I can shake ah my fanny I can shake ah my can"_

What the hell is this?!

"_I'm a tuff tootin baby I can punch all yo buns. I can punch all yo buns. If yo an evil witch I will punch yo for fun!"_

What the hell is wrong with this school?!

"And now a word from Principal Saw" the teacher in charge said.

A woman with long black hair went to the microphone. She fixed her red eyes at a bunch of boys who looked sort of like delinquents. "I don't want anyone skipping classes again. If you do, YOU'LL BE EXPELLED, YOU HEAR ME!" she yelled. Wow, this principal is scary. "That will be all, return to your respective classes."

Once she said that I got trampled by a whole school of students running as fast as they can from the principal. Luckily, one of them had the decency to stretch out her hand to me. She seemed really nice. She had wavy, dark green hair tied in two pigtails at the sides of her head. Her eyes were neon green complemented by green-framed glasses.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Uh yeah…" I replied.

"I'm glad." She said "My name is Dead."

"My name is Rock." I said.

"Dead," a girl with long, wavy, blonde hair and yellow eyes said "why are you talking to her?"

"Oh, I was just helping her." Dead replied. She faced me and gestured to the blonde girl "Rock, this is Chariot. She's a childhood friend of mine."

I reached out my hand to her. "Hi I'm Ro-" I was interrupted when she slapped my hand away.

"Don't touch me." Chariot said "Stay away from Dead, you understand. She's my friend, not yours."

"Hey Rock can be friends with whoever she wants!" Strength said. Wait, when did Strength get here?

"Back off, Strength! This is none of your business!" Chariot said.

"Shut up you Shorty!" Strength yelled.

"Sh-shorty?!" Chariot yelled "Who you calling Shorty?!"

**~Two minutes later~**

There we were running dramatically into the sunset. This is kind of weird since it's the start of class yet the sun was already setting. Yup, it was so dramatic we were running in slow motion, at least until Strength asked why we were running in slow motion.

When we were running in slow motion, I noticed a weird missing poster that said:

**Missing  
Name:**_ Haruhi Suzumia  
_**Age:**_ 17  
_**If found big reward: **$_1,000,000,000,000,000  
_**If not found bigger reward:** _$2,000,000,000,000,000,000  
_**If found please call: **_You can't. Haruhi used all the phones to contact aliens._

Well, this is a really weird life I'm having. First it was Mr. Potatoes, Second was the magical students who can make stuff disappear, and now this! Yup, it is definitely crazy.

**~At home~**

I was teaching my cat, Stupidface, how to carry me again. If you're wondering why that's its name, it's because the shady salesman on the streets said that was its name. I would have named something else like Dumpling Doodoo face, but if it already has a name I can't change that.

"Rock! Run for your life!" Nana yelled while running towards the door.

"Why?" I asked.

"Mom is cooking again!" Nana shouted.

Together we ran outside while Nana said something about what would happen if Chuck Norris could turn into Goku and could never turn back. I gave my sister a 'Bitch please' look and said that Chuck Norris can do anything.

**Me: Yes! I finally finished it! I had to do all the parts on the same day just to update it today!  
BRS: STUPIDFACE! Y U NO CARRY ME ALREADY?!  
Me: You ate a poison apple, didn't you?  
BRS: Yes.  
Me: *face palm*  
BRS: Well anyway we hope that you enjoyed this chapter and please review.  
Me: Thank you all for reading my fanfic!**


End file.
